Footprints on Zero Line Read online

  To Dina, my birthplace in Pakistan

  Contents

  Author’s Note

  POEMS

  Zero Line

  t+hjks ykbZu

  Dina

  nhuk

  At Dina…

  nhuk esa…

  Dhaiyya

  /;~;k!

  Millstone

  ,d gh pDdj ysrk gS pDdh ij j[kk mez dk pkd!

  If Possible…

  vxj ,slk Hkh gks ldrk---

  A Knock

  nLrd

  Bhameri

  Hkesjh

  Bullet

  lkQ+s dks lj ls ijksrh gqbZ xqt+jh xksyh

  A Scene

  eUT+kj

  Karachi

  djkph!

  Toba Tek Singh

  Vksck Vsd flag!

  Silence at the Border

  ljgn ij ;s ldrk D;ksa gS

  Neighbour

  iM+kslh

  Compatriot

  ge oru

  Zindanama

  ft+Unka ukek

  Eyes Don’t Need a Visa

  vk¡[kksa dks oht+k ugha yxrk

  Ramzan

  lquks] bl ckj Hkh jet+ku ds fnu Fks!

  Ghazal

  x+t+y

  TALES

  Crossing the Raavi

  Two Sisters

  Kuldip Nayar and Pir Sahab

  LoC

  Two Soldiers

  Partition

  Fear

  Smoke

  Rams

  The Jamun Tree

  The Scent of Man

  Search

  Over

  P.S.

  A Dialogue: Gulzar and Joginder Paul on Partition and Their Fiction

  Translator’s Note: Rakhshanda Jalil

  Notes

  About the Book

  About the Authors

  Copyright

  Author’s Note

  I HAVE WITNESSED the Partition. I have experienced the Partition. Standing on Zero Line I am still watching the trail of Partition. Seventy years have passed. Time has not been able to blow off the footprints. I don’t know how long it will take for them to sink into history and be the past.

  Rakhshanda has been kind to compile this work on Partition. And Shantanu, my able editor, has been kind to conduct the notes with his baton very well.

  POEMS

  Zero Line

  Walking up to Wagah with measured steps

  When I came to stand at the Zero Line

  My shadow fell in Pakistan!

  The sun was behind me

  And my Abbu was standing in front

  He saw me

  Resting his stick on the ground

  He smiled and said,

  ‘When I had left my body there

  I came back home, Punni!’

  Abbu used to call me ‘Punni’.

  ‘I had hoped you would come,

  For you had not received the news of my death

  I knew you would come to bid me farewell!’

  Startled, the moment paused

  He tapped the ground with his stick

  Stretching his hand, he said:

  ‘Come, let us go to Dina!’

  My friends who had come to receive me at Wagah

  Held me by the hand and took me to Lahore

  In the din of the city no voices came back to me

  But I could see a trail of silence

  That led to Dina.

  It used to be a qasba once

  With a tiny cardboard railway station

  Not all trains stopped there

  Those were the days of the war

  Only trains carrying soldiers stopped there

  I would run to the station whenever I spotted the smoke

  Abbu used to return with goods for the hatti.

  There was just a bazaar

  And a track lined by banyan trees

  It’s still there

  And a madrasa where, sitting on a piece of sackcloth,

  I would write on my wooden board

  That alley exists still –

  Which opened into the fields

  I caressed those walls on which

  I used to write in Urdu with a piece of coal.

  I hoped someone would hold my fingers

  And teach me to spell every syllable correctly

  But no one came –

  Perhaps I had left him behind at Wagah

  So I returned –

  I am back at the Zero Line

  My shadow whispers from behind me,

  ‘When you give up this body

  Come back to your home

  Your birthplace, your motherland.’

  t+hjks ykbZu

  uis d+neksa ls pyrs pyrs ok?kk ij---

  eSa t+hjks ykbZu ij vk dj [kM+k Fkk tc

  esjh iNkZbZa ikfdLrku esa Fkh!

  esjs ihNs Fkk lwjt---

  esjs vkxs esjs vCcw [kM+s Fks

  eq>s ns[kk---

  NM+h Vsdh t+eha ij

  eqLdjk;s vkSj cksys

  ^ogka tc feV~Vh NksM+ jgh Fkh---

  eSa vius ?kj pyk vk;k Fkk] iqUuh!*

  esjs vCcw eq>s ^iqUuh* cqykrs Fks

  ^eq>s mEehn Fkh rqe vkvksxs iqUuh]

  fd esjs var dh rqedks [+kcj igqaph ugha Fkh!

  ;d+ha Fkk vkvksxs eq>dks fonk djus!*

  cl bd od+Q+k fBBj ds jg x;k Fkk

  NM+h dks [kV[kVk;k fQj t+eha ij

  c<+k dj gkFk cksys

  ^pyks nhuk pysaxs!*

  esjs vgckc tks ok?kk is ysus vk;s Fks eq>dks

  idM+ ds gkFk esjk --- ys x;s ykgksj eq>dks

  ogka ds 'kksj&o&x+qy esa fQj dksbZ vkokt+ dkuksa esa ugha vkbZ

  exj lUukVs dk bd jkLrk Fkk tks fn[kkbZ ns jgk Fkk

  oks jkLrk ^nhuk* tkrk Fkk---

  cgqr NksVk lk d+Lck Fkk] dHkh oks

  cgqr NksVk lk xRrksa dk cuk;k ,d LVs'ku Fkk

  ogka lc xkfM+;ka #drh ugha Fkha

  exj oks ^yke* ds fnu Fks

  ogh #drh Fkha ftuesa Q+kSft;ksa ds fMCcs gksrs Fks

  /kqvka fn[krk Fkk xkM+h dk] rks nkSM+ vkrk Fkk LVs'ku ij

  mlesa vCcw gV~Vh ds fy;s lkeku ysdj ykSVk djrs Fks---

  cl bd ckt+kj Fkk

  bd ^VkfYg;ksa* okyh lM+d Hkh Fkh

  oks vc Hkh gS

  enzlk Fkk tgka eSa VkV dh iV~Vh fcNk dj r[+rh fy[krk Fkk

  xyh Hkh gS---

  oks ftldk bd fljk [ksrksa esa [kqyrk Fkk

  oks nhokjsa VVksysa] dks;sys ls ftu is mnZw fy[kk djrk Fkk

  eq>s mEehn Fkh dksbZ esjh maxyh idM+ ysxk

  eq>s fgTts fl[kk;sxk

  exj dksbZ ugha vk;k---

  eSa 'kk;n NksM+ vk;k Fkk] ogha ok?kk is mudks

  eSa ykSV vk;k---

  eSa t+hjks ykbZu ij vk dj [kM+k gw¡

  esjs ihNs esjh iNkZbZa gS] vkokt+ nsrh gS

  ogkW tc feV~Vh NksM+ksxs---

  pys vkuk rqEgkjk ?kj ;gha ij gS

  rqEgkjh tUe Hkweh gS! oru gS!

  Dina

  I had set out from Wagah

  Playing Stapoo and jumping over

  Roughly drawn squares on the ground

  Crossing the bridge over the Jhelum in a steam engine

  From Kalowal I emerged behind Mangla

  To the city of Dina, near Kurlan.

  I was born there.

  Scouring alleys, searching for pebbles in drains

  Waving my writing board, a schoolbag slung around my neck

  I had stopped for a while

  Beside the mill as it went clank-clank.

  There was commotion

  A crowd had gathered to watch

  Two hennaed rams lock horns.

  Whose horn would break first?

  I scurried away, hiding through the legs.

  Filling my pocket with ripe neem
berries

  I suddenly found the gilli I had thrown at the tree lying on the ground

  A squirrel must have hidden it!

  My house was at the turn of the alley

  Fearfully, I knocked at the door

  An old man pushed the rusty door open

  And looked at me with disbelief

  He looked like my twin

  I handed over my bag and came away

  ‘I will come again,’ I said

  ‘I am going to watch the rams fight…

  ‘Just an alley away!’

  nhuk

  eSa ok?kk ls pyk Fkk

  t+ehuksa ij f[kps [+kkuksa esa

  ^lVkiks* [ksyrk vkSj ikj djrk]

  /kw,sa dh xkM+h esa ^tgye* dk iqy xqt+jk

  eSa ^dkyoky* ls ^eaxyk* ds ihNs dh rjQ+ fudyk

  tgkWa ^dqykZa* ls yxrk 'kgj ^nhuk* gS!

  ogkWa iSnk gqvk Fkk eSa!

  eSa xfy;kWa [kkstrk] ukyh esa daps
  ygjkrk r[+rh—vkSj xys esa >wyrk cLrk fy;s

  Bgjk Fkk FkksM+h nsj]

  dqd dqd djrh pDdh ij

  ogkWa etek yxk Fkk

  vkSj bd gYyM+ Fkk yksxksa dk

  fd nks esgWnh yxs nqEcksa us lhax vius tdM+ jD[ks

  Fks vkil esa!

  fdlh dk lhax VwVsxk!

  eSa Mj ds HkhM+ dh Vkaxksa ds uhps ls fudy vk;k

  iDdh uheksfy;ksa ls tscsa viuh Hkj jgk Fkk tc

  vpkud isM+ ij [kksbZ gqbZ fxYyh

  t+eha ij fey xbZ eq>dks

  fxYgjh us Nqik yh Fkh!

  xyh dk eksM+ eqM+rs gh esjk ?kj Fkk

  cgqr Mj Mj ds njokt+s is nLrd nh

  fdlh cw<+s us t+ax vkywn njokt+k /kdsyk

  cM+h gSjr ls ns[kk eq>dks cw<+s us

  esjk ge'kDy yxrk Fkk!

  eSa cLrk j[kds ykSV vk;k

  ^eSa fQj vkm$axk*] ;s dg dj

  ^nqEcksa dh yM+kbZ ns[kus tkrk gw¡---

  ^eSa fiNyh xyh esa gw¡!*

  At Dina…

  She was a big girl

  She had pulled me behind the door, holding my schoolbag

  And stolen the lump of clay

  Nibbling at it, she had smiled at me

  Planting a kiss on my cheeks, she said,

  ‘Give me this clay

  I have to layer my slate with it and write a name.’*

  ‘She must be pregnant!’ my mother told me.

  I was possibly six years old then

  I am fifty-six now

  Still pregnant with her memory

  I still remember that girl!

  nhuk esa…

  cM+h lh ,d yM+dh Fkh

  esjk cLrk idM+ ds] vkSj njokt+s ds ihNs [khap dj eq> dks

  esjs cLrs ls bl us xkpuh feV~Vh pqjkbZ Fkh

  dqrj ds nkar ls oks eqLdjkbZ Fkh!

  esjs xkyksa is iIih ys ds cksyh Fkh

  ^eq>s ns ns ;s feV~Vh!

  ^eq> dks r[+rh iksr dj bd uke fy[kuk gS!*

  ^oks dksbZ gkeyk gksxh!* eq>s ek¡ us crk;k Fkk!

  eSa 'kk;n Ns cjl dk Fkk

  eSa vc NIiu cjl dk gq¡

  eSa vc Hkh gkeyk gq¡ ;kn ls ml dh

  oks yM+dh vc Hkh eq> dks ;kn vkrh gS!

  Dhaiyya*

  It has taken me seventy years

  To return to Dina and touch the dhaiyya

  How much have I run in the wasteland of Time

  How long have I played hide-and-seek!

  An old picture of the railway station

  The smoke from the engine hovering mid-air

  Its colours had begun to fade

  And standing at one of the doors of the train

  Was my Abbu.

  The picture was beginning to flake off

  When I reached the dhaiyya

  The board was still there at the station

  So was the name

  But what once appeared on its breast

  Now seems to be written on its back

  Behind it stretches, lost, the railway track endlessly.

  Moving through the silent film of my past

  The alley from which I had emerged

  Still lies there like a snakeskin.

  In these seventy years

  Even the throat of the water wheel has run dry

  The water has settled deep inside the sand

  And the well sits, its mouth agape.

  There was a pond ahead of Daata Chowk

  It used to lie with the sky on its chest

  It too has closed its eyes

  Filled them with earth.

  My madrasa was a primary one

  Sitting in the sun on a piece of sackcloth

  I used to read my primer

  Now, it is a high school

  With benches!

  A ragged tree stands some distance away

  Somewhere there the master used to make me bend over like a rooster*

  The old tree bends, trying to place me

  Both of us have the same question:

  ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’

  How desolate the past becomes

  How desolate becomes childhood

  Only a whiff remains, a dampness

  Like descending into a basement…

  Sleep overtakes you in basements.

  /;~;k!

  lRrj lky yxs gSa eq>dks

  ^nhuk* okil vkdj /;~;k Nwus esa

  fdruk nkSM+k gw¡ eSa oD+r ds ohjkus esa

  fdruh yEch vk¡[k fepksyh [ksyh gS!

  cgqr fnuksa dh fpidh gqbZ rLohj Fkh ,d LVs'ku dh

  dqN chp gok esa Bgjk gqvk butu dk /kqvka

  ihyh iM+us yxh Fkh vc jaxr mldh

  V~jsu ds bd njokt+s esa tks [kM+s Fks] esjs vCcw Fks

  nhokjksa ls fpidh gqbZ rLohj IykLrj NksM+ jgh Fkh]

  tc /;~;k ij igqapk eSa

  cksMZ rks gS LVs'ku ij vc Hkh

  uke Hkh gS---

  lhus ij fy[kk jgrk Fkk igys mlds

  vc yxrk gS tSls cksMZ dh ihB is fy[kk gS

  mlds ihNs nwj ryd cslq/k iM+h gS jsy dh iV~jh!

  ekt+h dh [+kkeks'k fQ+Ye ls xqt+j jgk Fkk

  xyh tgka ls fudyk Fkk eSa

  ogha iM+h gS tSls esjh dSapyh j[kh gks

  lRrj lky esa

  dqd dqd djrs djrs iu&pDdh dk xyk Hkh lw[k x;k

  jsr ds vanj tk dj cSB x;k gS ikuh

  eqag [kksys cSBk gS dqvk¡

  ^nkrk pkSd* ds vkxs bd rkykc Fkk igys

  vkLeku lhus is j[k ds ysVk jgrk Fkk

  mlus Hkh vk¡[ksa can dj yha

  vk¡[kksa esa feV~Vh Hkj yh gS

  esjk enzlk izkbZezh Fkk

  VkV fcNk dj] /kwi esa ^dsnk* i<+rk Fkk

  vc gkbZ Ldwy gS

  csap yxs gSa!

  Nnzk lk bd isM+ [kM+k gS nwj t+jk

  ogha dgha ^eqx+kZ* cuok dj [kM+k fd;k djrk Fkk ekLVj

  cw<+k isM+ ogha ls >qd dj

  igpkuus dh dksf'k'k djrk gS

  ^ogh rks gks rqe---!*

  ge nksuksa dguk pkgrs gSa

  dSls ohjka gks tkrs gSa lky iqjkus

  ohjka gks tkrk gS cpiu

  fQj Hkh ,d egd jg tkrh gS lhyu dh

  rg [+kkuksa esa mrjks rks---

  rg [+kkuksa esa uhan lh vkus yxrh gS!

  Millstone

  The millstone of Time goes around only once

  Grinding everything fine in that one cycle.

  To gather everything from one lifetime

  And keep pouring into the millstone

  All the stones, pebbles, marbles of one’s childhood

  To bring together all the knowledge, experiences, lessons

  All the horizons desired along the way

  All the fields harvested during the day

  The gardens of star-filled nights

  Were all put into the grinder.

  The rosaries of day and night are coming apart

  Perhaps, just a hands-width of life remains

  I am returning to Dina where the millstone had started its cycle.*

  ,d gh pDdj ysrk gS pDdh ij j[kk mez dk pkd!

  ,d gh pDdj ysrk gS pDdh ij j[kk mez dk pkd

  ,d gh pDdj esa lk
jk dqN fil tkrk gS

  ,d g;krh esa tks dqN Hkh gkfly gks

  lc dqN tek djuk vkSj mUMsyrs jsguk pkd esa

  ukS&mezh ds iRFkj] fiV~Bw] dUps] dadj]

  bYe] rtqcZs vkSj ulhgrsa ftruh cVksjh gksa

  'kkSd+ us ftrus mQ+d+ pqus gks pyrs pyrs

  [ksr fnuksa ds dkVs ftrus

  rkjksa Hkjh jkrksa ds ckx+ mrkjs tks lc Hkh

  Mky fn;s pkd ds vUnj

  jkr vkSj fnu dh rlchgsa vc VwV jgh gSa

  bd ckfy'r fgLlk ckd+h gS mez dk 'kk;n!

  ykSV jgk gw¡ ^nhuk* tgka ls pkd pyk Fkk!

  If Possible…

  If it were possible

  To transfer my dreams to your sleep

  And show you all that I often see

  If that were possible

  You would know that

  I had taken you across the border to Dina

  Shown you the house where I was born

  Where all day long the sunlight

  Pouring through the iron grill on the roof

  Transformed my courtyard into a chessboard.

  I had shown you those fields of mustard

  Made you savour the raw yellow flowers

  And a trail of banyan trees for miles

  Conjured up jhoolas in the moist monsoons

  The scent of that path

  Perfumes my eyes

  Whenever I traverse that dream.

  I had also shown you the ‘moving well’ of Rohtas

  Imprisoned in the fort all day

  It would come to the village at night

  They say…

  From Kala to Kalowal I have flown with you on wheels

  Pointing out wondrous sights over the Jhelum

  Where boys float over the river on watermelons

  And holding on to the turban of a sturdy sardar

  I would bathe, bob up and down

  Before a sudden strong current would startle me awake.

  But all this is possible only in dreams

  There are some political difficulties in going there now

  It is still my motherland but it isn’t my country anymore

  To go there, I have to visit many offices of the two governments

  Get my face stamped and provide proof of my dreams.

  vxj ,slk Hkh gks ldrk---

  vxj ,slk Hkh gks ldrk---

  rqEgkjh uhan esa lc [+okc vius eqUrfd+y dj ds

  rqEgsa oks lc fn[kk ldrk] tks eSa [+okcksa esa vDlj ns[kk djrk gw¡!

  ;s gks ldrk vxj eqfEdu

  rqEgsa ekywe gks tkrk

  rqEgsa eSa ys x;k Fkk] ljgnksa ds ikj nhuk esa

  rqEgsa oks ?kj fn[kk;k Fkk—tgka iSnk gqvk Fkk eSa

  tgka Nr ij yxk lj;ksa dk taxyk] /kwi ls fnu Hkj

  esjs vkaxu esa 'krjath cukrk Fkk] feVkrk Fkk

  fn[kkbZ Fkha rqEgsa oks [ksfr;ka ljlksa dh] nhus eas] fd ftl ds